Joke

What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a Traffic Officer writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres. So my wife called him a shithead. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age .

Champions League Draw

As always, MiB FC Blog is first with all the latest soccer news. Here is the draw for the final 32:

Group A:

Chelsea
Roma
Bordeaux
CFR

Verdict: Fairly straightforward for Chelsea and Roma I feel. Bordeaux might be able to pull off a tiny upset at home, but its gonna be the big two. It will be interesting to see who tops the group with Chelsea favourites. Interesting fact: Riise will be playing against Chelsea for the first time since his own goal cost Liverpool a place in the final in 2008. A chance for revenge? Or another blunder? Only time will tell.

Group B:

Inter Milan
Werder Bremen
Panathinaikos
Anorthosis

Verdict: Mourinho couldnt have asked for an easier draw. Inter should easily win all their home games and wrap up qualification with games to spare. Bremen and Panathinaikos will fight it out for 2nd, and eventhough Anothosis sounds more like a body part, I expect them to give a couple of teams a real fright at their home ground.

Group C:

Barcelona
Sporting Lisbon
Basel
Shakhtar

Verdict: Easy for Barca. They will qualify top of the group but might not get there as comfortably as people think. Expect Sporting and even Basel to steal some points from them but at the Nou Camp they will beat all these teams. Basel are no pushovers and will push Sporting all the way for 2nd spot.

Group D:

Liverpool
PSV
Marseille
Atletico Madrid

Verdict: Tough group for Liverpool. They drew the hardest team from the last pot, Atletico Madrid, and it was just waiting to happen wasn't it? Madrid has Luis Garcia and Sinama Pongolle, both ex Liverpool players, plus Reina comes from there and of course Fernando Torres too. Aguero plays for Atletico so Liverpool has to be wary. PSV are not the side they used to be and even Marseille looks depleted this season. This group is really open and it's anybody's guess who will be the 2 to get in. But if I had to stick my neck out I would say Liverpool and Atletico Madrid. Which order that I still cannot say for sure.

Group E:

Manchester United
Villareal
Celtic
AaB

Verdict: A bit tricky for the Red Devils because Villareal are a good team. Celtic will play like its their Champions Leage Final against MU and AaB will be a tricky place to visit in winter because Scandinavia is never a nice place to go around that time. But I expect the defending champions to just about squeeze through on top, followed by Villareal, who should just pip Celtic, but don't count them out.

Group F:

Lyon
Bayern
Steaua
Fiorentina

Verdict: Do we really care? Bayern Munich are back in the competiton so expect them to be hungry. They will top this group. Fiorentina will be no pushovers though and I expect them to pip Lyon to second place, who are definitely not the team they used to be.

Group G:

Arsenal
Porto
Fenerbahce
Dynamo Kyiv

Verdict: Not an easy draw at all for Arsenal. All their opponents have very good home records so Arsenal are going to struggle away. Fenerbahce beat Chelsea at home so you can roughly guess what to expect, plus Porto rarely lose at home. Kyiv will be snowing all the time so that doesnt make things any easier. This is a tricky group to predict. I would say Arsenal and Porto, in which order I dono.

Group H:

Real Madrid
Juventus
Zenit
BATE

Verdict: It should be fun to see Zenit in the competition if they manage to hold on to Arshavin. Zenit play really good football and I can tell you they will give all these teams a good fight. Real Madrid won't have it easy for sure but they have the European pedigree. Juventus is back in the big time and they will be flying the flag for Italy as Milan are not there. Real and Juve to go through but expect it to be a helluva battle.

MiB Movie Review: Wall-E

Harvey, Prak and Zal headed down to Causeway Point to catch the highly-anticipated Pixar movie Wall-E. The show is basically about a rubbish-collecting robot, and the rest, I wont spoil it for you, go watch it yourself. Any show that gets Faizal going "Hmm not bad!" is a good show.

It was a really heartwarming and insightful show and well worth watching in cinema for the computer graphics. I could hear ladies weeping and kids enjoying themselves too. It is not a show catered solely for kids though, and some of the jokes are targetted more at adults.

A thoroughly enjoyable movie that you can watch with your family, friends, gf or "dates". If you watch with a girl and she doesn't go "AWW" in the show, she must be butch, so intro her to you know who in MiB.=)

Movie Rating: 4/5 (go watch it in the cinema)

Faizal's Mad Movie Review

Presenting to you a brand new section of the MiB Blog, a movie review done by our one and only Faizal. Take it away Zal!

Movie to Screw You With Today: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Dumbledore dies. Harry Potter ends his relationship with ginny to protect her. Snape is the half blood prince and he works for Voldermont with malfroy.

Thank you. You have just been screwed by Faizal. Have a nice day!=)

MiB Accounts

From SK (For those who don't check your emails)

Greetings Agents,

I am pleased to provide you the full accounts for the MIB Fund WY2007-08.

Please go through this final spreadsheet attached together with this report.

There are four spreadsheets namely 'Balance Sheet', 'Statement of Accounts', 'Income Contributions' and 'Financial Expenditure'.

Here is a quick glance of our financial status at the end of WY2007-2008.

GRAND TOTAL TO COLLECT = $2,887.00

GRAND TOTAL RECEIVED = $2,806.50

HONORARY CONTRIBUTION = $67.00

LIABILITIES PAID OFF = $2,319.84

LIABILITIES PENDING = $ -

ASSETS WITH AGENTS = $80.50

REMAINDER IN ACCOUNT = $553.66

TOTAL MIB ASSERTS = $634.16

As of today the accounts for MIB Fund WY2007-08 will be officially closed on this note:

MIB FUND in a very good financial state without any outstanding due or liabilities.

MIB FUND has cash reserves of $634.16 at the end of WY2007-08

Agent Munshi bin Abdolah’s account with MIB Fund has been brought to a close as of the

WY2007-2008 with an outstanding due of $79.00. This amount will be written off as per higher orders

Agent Dinesh has evaded $67.00 worth of obligated fund.

Agent Maran has dues amounting to $15.50.

All the above mentioned amount due will be brought forward to WY2008-09

The accounts generated for WY2007-08 will be verified by nominated personnel.

Please do note that this report reflects the transactions occurring during the period of Apr 07 – Mar 08 only.

The current report featuring WY2008-09 is in progress. It will be available to you once it is ready.

Meanwhile if you are interested to know how much you currently owe MIB FUND here is the list.

Transfer to my account POSB 033-12662-0. (Senthil's)

AGENT
OWE
Dinesh
$ 67.00
Harpreet
$ 16.00
Rizvi
$ 16.00
Pirakash
$ 14.00
Rooban
$ 8.00
Satheeish
$ 24.00
Maran
$ 39.50

Lastly the nominal MIB Fund contribution of $10 monthly will commence in September 08 (the first for this work year) so prepare your cash.
I believe this long absence has eased our financial burden. Some of us may have felt incomplete without it but just as promised its back!!

Regards
~SK~

On behalf of MiB, I would like to thank SK for a great job done with the accounts. Guys who still owe their amounts please settle ASAP. With 95% of MiB working I don't see why there should be any problems. And Din, you better not elope to Hong Kong we will find you wherever you are. Owe money pay money!

Updates..

Ok guys first up sorry for the lack of updates. I on my part have been super busy with my FYP work finally catching up with me. And another reason is that MiB really didn't do much last week. So here are the updates for this week..

1. First up Happy Belated Birthday Harry. Maybe we all can meet up this Friday and buy him a dinner or something? Let's plan to meet up on Friday in any case. Dinner, movie, chill out anything I don't mind. What about Mind's Cafe? Say about 730pm Boat Quay one. Who is on? Any other suggestions?
   
2. The EPL season is finally underway! After 3 long months it was finally good to see the cut and thrust of the EPL. Feels like it has never been away really. Some great games to watch, I know Riz in particular would have been particularly pleased with Paul Ince's debut win against Everton. I thought Blackburn looked pretty solid on the day.
   Aston Villa were perhaps the most impressive performers getting 4 goals against Man City and Mark Hughes has some serious problems there. Villa looked sharp going forward and Ashley Young is maturing into a pretty fine player. Chelsea were likewise ruthless against a pathetic Portsmouth. I still have my reservations about them and one fine day, they are going to complain about the 4 central midfielders playing together but for now, I think they thoroughly deserve the compliments.
   Arsenal and Liverpool started slowly both registering solitary goal wins. Not very impressive and they were perhaps slightly fortunate to register all 3 points. Not that they would mind though. Manchester United would have taken their results as they were held by a very different looking Newcastle team. They actually showed some grit and togetherness but how long it will last we have to wait to find out. The Red Devils looked toothless without Ronaldo, Tevez and Nani, and perhaps the signing of Berbatov might make the difference.
   
3. This Saturday Liverpool Match 10pm. MiB is invited to my place to watch the game and after that we can go to Yassin to have some prata and relak with "Chan". Who is on?
   
4. Go check this out guys: www.ultimatefutsal.com I am thinking of signing MiB up. Do you guys wanna go ahead with it? We will get to play Futsal games every weekend with each game lasting 30mins 5 a side 7 rolling subs. More details on the site. Let me know ASAP and we can go ahead with that.
   
5. Weekend any field match? That one Sat will liaise with you guys.
   

Have a good week ahead! God Bless!

Updates..

1. There might be a match this weekend. Maybe Saturday 5pm at Bedok or Sunday 3pm at Ang Mo Kio. Details are with Sat he will sms u all soon.
   
   
2. Congratulations to Rizvi for securing his job at SMRT. He is their new Safety Officer. God help us all..
   
   
3. What are the plans for Friday night? Looks like MiB has slowed down after feeling the effects of hanging out too much last week.
   
   
4. Ok now I need to find this out. How is it that only 12 MiB players played on Saturday, there are 20 MiB players tops, and yet PP has won the man of the match by a landslide of more than 30 votes. He really must be a PP. He deserves the accolade in my opinion, but 30 votes?? Hmm..
   
   Not bad for a fledgling MiB career:
   
   Game 1: Sent off.
   
   Game 2: Scored a goal.
   
   Tournament 1: More remembered for his skills at the Jurong East Wave Pool.
   
   Game 3: Won Man of the match by more than 30 votes, which is made more remarkable by the fact he was hanging out with "Jack", "Jim", "Regal" and "Johnnie" till 1pm on match day.

Anyone wanna go?

MiB Lookalikes!! Part 7

Whatcha looking at MOTHERF**KA?!

A portrait of Philbert by Harish

MiB FC 1 - Juve Manjanns 1

MiB drew 1-1 in a hard fought match at St Wilfred's on National Day. The 3pm kickoff brought with it the blazing sun, but the weather got better as the game wore on. MiB started with Harvey in goal, Harish at right-back, Prak and Harry in the centre of defence, and PP on the left. We played with 2 defensive anchors in the shape of Puvan and Faizal. On the wings were Kevin and Maran. Sat partnered Philbert in attack while Riz was on the touchline at the start.

The match started in typical MiB fashion. All out attack without saving anything for the tank. The opponents kept playing us offside and although we got better with this as the game wore on, it is still something we need to work on.

About 15mins into the game, a long clearance from Harry was headed on by Sat and the ball fell into Kevin's path. He coolly lifted it over the onrushing keeper, with Philbert chasing after the ball trying his best to get the goal ruled out for offside. Luckily the goal stood and MiB's early pressure bore fruit.

The opponents started to make their way back into the game and had a free header shortly after. Harvey managed to parry and Prak cleared the danger. A couple of half-chances followed for them again as they grew confident from MiB's constant offside calls. MiB tried to hit them on the counter with Maran, Kevin and Faizal's pace, but did not register too many shots on goal.

To their credit, the opponents had a pretty safe keeper. His kicks were massive and on one such long punt, caught Riz out, who had come on for Prak at this point. The ball sailed over his head and as he was backtracking, the opponents striker pounced on the ball and volleyed it past Harvey. A bit hard done by but it was 1-1.

The first half was soured by an incident involving some MiB players and the opponents. Rizvi's searching ball was chased by Sat who collided with the keeper, who upon which reacted as though he was hit by the Batmobile. He said some unncecessary things, and that caused Bert to run 20yards to confront him and that led to some pushing and shoving. Luckily common sense prevailed and half time ensued.

Some tactical changes were made at half time. Harvey came on for Puvan at the centre of midfield. PP stepped into goal while Harry covered left back. We started off well and Harvey and Faizal had 2 decent opportunites capitalizing on some poor marking but their long range efforts went just pass the post. Harvey had the ball in the back of the net but the goal was ruled out as Bert was in an offisde position then, eventhough he never touched the ball.

Our defence was being stretched by the opponents, who to their credit were much better in the second half too. PP was outstanding saving a couple of one on ones and how we did not concede was quite amazing. We came close with a couple of free kicks from Prak and Riz and some lung-bursting runs from Maran and Zal, but alas, it was not to be and the game ended in stalemate.

Kevin picked up a yellow card for dissent. Hopefully he would have learnt something from that incident.

We proceeded to Yassin for tea and pratas. And then to Yishun to watch Batman again. It was Rizvi's 5th time in the cinema.

Vote for your man of the match at the bottom of this blog.

Match on National Day

Match on 9th August 2008 is on. Venue is St Wilfred. Warm Up will start at 230pm.

Yellow Jerseys, black shorts, black socks. Bring boots and shin guards also.

Players definitely missing are SK, Vana and KK. Who else?

And bring $9 per person.

See u there!

A Walk Down Memory Lane..

MiB FC jerseys down the years.. Pictures courtesy of Riz.

Poor Performance but great day nevertheless..

It wasn't exactly what MiB had in mind for a hot Sunday when we met up at 9am at Fico Sports Hub eager and excited about the tournament at hand. MiB had 2 teams and the likes of PP and Kevin making their tournament debuts. We can point the reason at a variety of reasons, but perhaps the most telling ones would be our lack of preparation on this sort of surface and our apparent lack of fitness. MiB is today more suited to perhaps an 11-a side football game and so joining a league like ESPZen might make more sense. We are still very proud of our NUS Futsal record and so hopefully will put up a better show on that kind of surface in future tournaments. Nevertheless, lessons were learnt and both teams packed up by lunchtime.

The majority of us headed to Jurong East Swimming Complex to try and forget the tournament. We had loads of fun toppling each other, jumping and clinging on to walls, riding the floats and just having a blast. We then proceeded to WALLOP KFC (not v good for fitness :( ) and hung around the Jurong East area to do some Puma Shopping and more. Prak, Riz, Harry and Maran picked out some pretty good deals and I guess you could say the day wasn't totally wasted.

So a forgettable tournament but friendship and fun still ruled the day with MiB. We will buck up for future performances and hopefully restore some pride to the name again.

For now, we plan to meet up tentatively on Wednesday for swimming and hanging out at the Great World City apartments but further updates will be given out soon.

There will be no Friday soccer this week as we have a match on National Day, thats 9th August PP at St Wilfred at 3pm. I hope to see everyone there and let's make up for today and give a good account of ourselves.

God Bless and See you guys soon!